Now, we wait.
My Mom got her final results in regarding her cancer. Although the primary site is her lungs, her liver is full of tumours and it is not functioning.
Less than a week later, she had an appointment with an oncologist specializing in lung cancer, and given her prognosis. Without treatment? Two weeks. With treatment? Potentially up to nine months. She had her first chemo appointment today.
Now, we wait.
She’ll go back again tomorrow and then again on Monday.
How will she react to the chemo? Will it be too little, too late? Will it make any difference what so ever?
Now, we wait.
For her to stabilize or decline. I want to hope for the best, but expect the worst. I do not want her to suffer, so quality over quantity? It’s not my choice to make. Is the chemo worth it, if she reacts badly? Totally her choice and her decision to make. She is of sound mind.
Now, we wait.
We’re all business right now. We’re being strong in the face of adversity. Grief will show up later – when there is time for that. Right now, there are appointments. There are dishes and laundry to do. Meals to be made. A vacuum to run. A woman to bathe. Mail to be collected. Bills to be paid. There will be a time and a place, when the weight of the world will come crashing down upon my shoulders and I will be inconsolable.
But for now? We wait.
E. E. Wildwood 