Dealing

It’s been a few weeks since we got the news that my Mother has Stage 4 Cancer. We’ve yet to receive all the information and she’s yet to see an oncologist. Bone scan was done two days ago, liver biopsy is in two days and the lung biopsy is yet to be scheduled. In the mean time, she is getting progressively worse. Four weeks ago, she could function on her own with the only issue was that she had trouble breathing, we thought that it was COPD, which is what her doctor had told her.

Fast forward. Her house has now been outfitted with a commode, rails to help her in and out of the shower, rails to help her in and out of bed. She has a walker and a chair with a lift. She has troubling standing for any length of time due to the swelling in her legs and feet.

I am concerned with the seemingly fast progression of her “decline”. She is in good spirits and only wants positive energy around her – which I get, but I also don’t want to bottle up my feelings and concerns. I’m worried. And then I Googled. Big mistake. The average life span of a person diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic liver cancer is four to eleven months. Now, I don’t even know for sure if that’s what she has – they are still looking for the primary site. But I am worried. I am concerned. I am not really ready to watch her go downhill. But I will be there, every step of the way. And for every minute I can be.